What’s the ONE Conversation You Are AVOIDING?

In All, Featured, Personal Development, Rambling, Relationships by Don Alley0 Comments

Damn it. Why did he ask me that?

Anyone pissed at even just reading that title? Did it make you think about the conversation that you’ve been putting off, the one you’ve been sweeping under the rug, tiptoeing around? You know, that one conversation with your spouse, a friend, or  a business partner… and you know that it’s going to be uncomfortable?

What is the ONE Question

You don’t want to rock the boat. I get it. I’m there myself. It’s extremely codependant of me, by the way, to not have this conversation. I’m trying to control someone else’s emotions by not telling my truth, and not have them deal with the issue at hand. There is a conversation that I have been putting off for months, and it’s become apparent that the situation isn’t going to improve, it’s only going to get worse, and the longer I wait, the more NOTHING  will change. Fuck that. What’s the answer?

Pull the goddamn band-aid off. Just rip it. Do it. You and the person BOTH already know the conversation is coming. People can feel it. There’s something in the air, there’s something amiss, something that just isn’t right. There’s an elephant on the table with a big sheet covering it, and no one wants to say anything…but you both know it’s there.

Have the conversation. Bring it up.

But what if I mess up? What if I’m not kind and I let my emotions get away from me? Then apologize later, but tell your truth. Fights are ugly sometimes. Confrontations aren’t pretty, but they are necessary. Otherwise, you are lying to yourself and the other person while you pretend that everything is okay.

What if I can’t process all the feelings and thoughts in the moment and I stand there stuttering, and I can’t communicate the way I want to? Write a letter and read it to the person. But we must stop making excuse after excuse about why we can’t. If you can’t, then you must.

How many times have you talked yourself out of this conversation? HA! Me too 🙂 It’s time to have it.

Have the conversation. If it turns into a fight, have a fight. Nothing can ever be resolved without some form of tension.

Fight. Attack. Don’t attack the person, attack the situation. Don’t run. Stand up for what you believe, what you think, and have that conversation, and let the chips fall where they may. Stop running. Face the battle and go to work. Tell YOUR truth. Listen to THEIR truth. Be compassionate. Be humble. Be loving. Be present. Just fucking be. Do it.

We must be willing to do life on our terms. If you don’t have this conversation, what is it costing you? Think about the pain…the loss of clarirty, the loss of sleep, the loss of money, the loss of XYZ. Leverage that against the angst of the conversation, and go have a heart to heart with this person.

We must tell our truth. Sometimes it’s no fun. Do it anyways. No one ever said life was all fun. Okay…I’m on my way, too. 

Don Alley
Don Alley is an artist and entrepreneur. He is known as the karate guy, the preschool guy, or the video guy. He runs Super Kicks Karate as the chief instructor in Ashburn, Center Stage Preschool, and Lucky You Media. He is also the co-founder of Testudo Addiction Recovery, a non-profit organization serving families across the country.

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