harmful phrases

Do You Use Harmful Phrases Like These? What NOT to Say—EVER!

In Adventure, All, Business, Personal Development by Don AlleyLeave a Comment

It was awful…the vulgarity that came out of my mouth. Frankly, I’m embarrassed to write it. 

A little context, here’s what was happening in my life last week:

➡️ Closing on a new house Friday

➡️ Moving the following Monday

➡️ I received a subpoena from the sheriff about a tax discrepancy from 2015. A subpoena!!? 🤯

➡️ Summer camp expo— a HUGE weekend event requiring tons of team cooperation, thought, strategy, and finesse. 

➡️ Graduation—And the testing of over 400 active students. 

➡️ Sick chief instructor to replace for two days. 

➡️ The normal weight of running 5 companies. 

I normally manage my stress well and stay pretty even. But I was feeling like I was at my brink, so I called my counselor. 

“Hey Don, how are you?” And that’s when I made my mistake. 

“I’m actually stressed to the max.” I was being dramatic, but I said it anyway. 

But it wasn’t true. I wasn’t feeling maxed out, or whatever I thought that meant. I just had a lot on my plate at that moment and felt it building. However, within 3 hours of that conversation, I absolutely felt “stressed to the max.”

I felt angry. I started allowing little things that normally don’t bother me to make me feel crazy inside. I was fuming. Rageful. Unable to control my emotions. It lasted for two days. I felt completely out of control. I screamed. I shouted. I lost my voice as a result.

This is completely unlike me. I never say things like that, and I don’t lose my temper. Not in front of people, and not in private.

Looking back, I’m convinced that I created those emotions with my words. I said them—“I’m stressed to the max”—and they became my reality.

It took two days of a downward spiral to remember that I have strategies to alleviate those negative emotions. I “tapped on it” (EFT), regained my composure in about 5 minutes, and have been calm ever since, coaching myself along these lines:

☑️ Remember that your words are powerful. They affect everything and everyone around you. Your staff, your family, your students, your managers—they all feel it when your energy is off. 

☑️ The universe is listening. It gives you what you ask for, good or bad. And it doesn’t care. Plant a thorn bush, grow a thorn bush. Plant a rose seed, grow a rose. Your mind is soil, and your words and thoughts are seeds. Plant what you want to grow. 

☑️ Speak abundance. Speak wealth. Speak peace. Find the good. “I am gratitude.” 

☑️ Gratitude trumps fear and anger. It’s almost impossible to be angry and grateful at the same time. Anger can serve as an indicator, but unbridled rage is harmful. Choose gratitude. 

☑️ Nothing is too big for you to handle. You are strong.  You have teams, you have resources, you are loved, and there is always a solution that is positive for everyone involved. 

☑️ When you feel overwhelmed, there are strategies you’ve learned and developed to eradicate your negative emotions and tap into energy and power and love and resourcefulness:

✔️ EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

✔️ Meditation (I practice Transcendental Meditation)

✔️ Call Ryan (My counselor for the past 15 years)

✔️ Journal 

✔️ Gratitude List

If you want to do extraordinary things, you must manage your emotions, and be mindful of every thought and every spoken word. They all matter. 

Can you relate to this? Have you ever noticed how your words and thoughts create the reality around you that you experience? What do you repeat to yourself on a daily basis that has become true, either good or bad?


I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback about anything you find yourself saying that is or isn’t serving you. Leave it in the comments below! I’ll respond 🤗

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Don Alley
Don Alley is an artist and entrepreneur. He is known as the karate guy, the preschool guy, or the video guy. He runs Super Kicks Karate as the chief instructor in Ashburn, Center Stage Preschool, and Lucky You Media. He is also the co-founder of Testudo Addiction Recovery, a non-profit organization serving families across the country.

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