Change Your Tribe. Change Your Life.

In Adventure, All, Personal Development, Relationships by Don Alley2 Comments

I’ve been trying to get my son to exercise, train, workout, lift, run, swim, climb trees–ANYTHING–for his entire life. 

To no avail. Every so often, yes. But nothing ever became a habit, which is what I really want for him. 

Then, over the holiday break, I was able to spend some time with him, and for three days in a row, every morning he woke up and said, “Hey Dad, I need to get to the gym today, can you take me?”

Wait, what? What’s happening? Who’s talking? 

I happily obliged, and also took some time to reflect on what actually changed. 

I didn’t push him and I didn’t suggest it. Nothing I’ve ever said has created a lasting and internal change, so I had all but given up the idea that I have any influence over him whatsoever in this area of his life.

Only one thing changed.

His tribe.

He joined the wrestling team not too long ago, and now, all of a sudden, he has peers that work out. And he has a tribe of other people who are holding him accountable, asking him about his workouts. And he doesn’t want to let them down.


It’s true what they say. If you want to change your life, change your peers. Start hanging out with people who are doing the things you want to do, or getting the results that you want to get.

I have another friend who joined a group of real estate investors about 6 years ago, and he joined with the specific idea in mind of learning from them. At the time, he had 1 property. I don’t know his current count, but I know for certain he has several million dollars worth of property now. But he has friends (a TRIBE) pushing him, encouraging him, and regularly asking him the question: What kind of property are you looking at right now?

Judah, my son, has people he respects and trusts and wants to be friends with asking him, “Did you get your workout in yesterday?’

Incredibly powerful.

Want to change your life? Change your friends. Choose VERY SPECIFICALLY the tribe you engage with, and I promise…magic will happen.

Do you have people in your life that hold you accountable? Ask you hard questions? If you don’t, seek them out. Distancing yourself from negative peers is important for your growth, but equally as important is SPECIFICALLY CHOOSING peers and friends that will force you to grow. 

Change your tribe, and you change your life.

Don Alley
Don Alley is an artist and entrepreneur. He is known as the karate guy, the preschool guy, or the video guy. He runs Super Kicks Karate as the chief instructor in Ashburn, Center Stage Preschool, and Lucky You Media. He is also the co-founder of Testudo Addiction Recovery, a non-profit organization serving families across the country.


  1. Very well said Mr.Alley, if one want to be a good in any specific area, then it is better to be with the people who are successful in that specific area to attain definite success, not the other way.. Thanks a lot

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